“I just. I don’t even know."

I have been trying to figure out how to express my feeling for the past week.  The appropriately powerful and precise words and phrases have escaped me.  I wanted to talk to my closest friend about it and I struggled with the words even with her.

My gut reaction is that I am incredibly heartbroken as I watch a country I love tear itself apart.  While I have been aware of the divides in our country for most of my life, especially my adult years, I haven’t known how to have an impact outside of my own views and actions.  I still don’t, to be honest, however I want to figure it out.

One theme I have read and heard in the last few days is that staying silent isn’t an option.  If staying silent puts me on the side of hate, I am going to speak up, even with imperfect words.  I am not on the side of any kind of hatred.  I am not on the side that makes people I love scared for their lives and those of their children. 

I don’t know what it feels like to be a racial minority.  I don’t know what it feels like to be scared of the people who are supposed to help protect me.  I can’t even pretend to put myself in the shoes of George Floyd’s loved ones.  What I do know is that I am lucky to have a diverse set of friends who are amazing people.  I know that none of them deserve to be judged on the color of their skin, no matter the shade.

I vehemently believe that a person is not defined by the color of their skin.  At least, they shouldn’t be.  I have long described people I know to others without mentioning skin color as an attribute.  It’s not that I don’t “see color”, it’s just not at the top of the attributes I think of when I describe someone.  Kind, smart, driven, tall, athletic, goofy.  Those are the adjectives I use.  Sometimes when someone meets one of my friends for the first time, they are surprised by their race.  Like they now have a different perception of the person just because they don’t share the same heritage.  In my opinion that is the type of racism that allows the oppression to continue.  Their opinion has changed not based on the merits of this new person but on their skin color.  Overt racism is easy to recognize but this more subtle form exists under the radar of those privileged enough not to be in the receiving end.

Now I’m not saying we don’t all have biases because we do.  It takes a conscious effort to fight against bias and allow our opinions of an individual to be based on that person.  I have had to check mine many times in my life and I know that there are times I have failed.  I keep trying though and acknowledging that I have them.  I hope that I get better every day because I never want to be part of the problem, even subconsciously.

A person is a person.  The phrase “love thy neighbor” shouldn’t only apply to those “neighbors” that look like us.  Each person can make a difference.

Be better.  I know I am going to.

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